Birthdays on Facebook

I love birthday wishes, especially now with Facebook. Exactly 189 people congratulated me on being born today. I feel so accomplished.

189 birthday posts out of 1,024 Facebook friends is kind of an impressive stat. If my birthday had a click-through rate, it would be almost 20%.

The best Facebook birthday posts are from blasts from the past. They probably see my name under “today’s birthdays” and think “Damn whatever happened to that chick?… Well, at least we now know she’s still among the living.” Thanks Facebook!

I think people take Facebook birthday wishes for granted. You scroll through a hundred happy birthdays with zero appreciation. Instead of Happy Birthday, I like to write LOOK BUTT PASTE! That’s right, you betta recognize.

I only friended you for more birthday comments

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