Yeah I’m 34 and just now getting pregnant for the first time. Considering the state of the union today, I came to the conclusion that more people like me should procreate. You’re welcome America.
When I asked the ultrasound lady how far along I was, she said about ten weeks. I smacked my mom on the arm and said “See I told you it was that guy. You owe me ten bucks.”
My best friend just had her first baby a few weeks ago. I love how close behind her I am in my pregnancy. It’s like being able to cheat off someone else’s paper.
You hear about moodiness, excessive urination, huge boobs, hemorrhoids, but here’s one I wasn’t expecting. Rhinitis. I now apparently cannot breathe for no reason whatsoever. What the hell is that about?
If I’m still up at 2am and I get hungry, it’s okay to eat right? Because technically that’s way before 9pm. And at three months I am eating for two. Well, one and a jelly bean. It’s a really hungry jelly bean.
Hungry Jelly Bean!
Note to Self 
pssssssssssssssssss. look at the belly on that jelly bean!!!!!!!!!!!!!