Note to Self

This picture is me an entire lifetime ago, lost in a divine moment I never thought I’d experience again.

Until a weird thing happened.

See, this morning, I finally started listening to this new book I bought called The Promise, by Mandy Morris. It’s a woo woo self help book about manifestation because I’m into all that shit. I got interested back in 2018 and regardless if you understand the science behind it or think it’s bullshit, my personal growth has been undeniable.

In the book, Mandy poses an interesting thought.

Instead of asking what someone does for a living, ask them what makes them come alive. I’ve heard this before but never stopped to think about it. My mind instantly went to singing. I used to sing professionally, but it’s been years. I wasn’t particularly amazing at it, but the feeling I got from it was a high unlike anything else.

I thought about that for awhile. Then just sat there quietly listening for answers from the universe and feeling the breeze on my face.

I wasn’t seeking answers about singing though, that was a fleeting thought. What I was asking was whether or not I was on the right track career-wise. I was laid off in December and I’ve been trying to get my own business off the ground ever since. There is still so much to do. But I had felt a little stuck lately. Still, no clarity came so I moved on with my day.

Then, a couple hours later, good friend called to ask if I would sing a duet with him in the studio for a track he’s making for his father’s memorial service in two weeks. It’s this beautifully haunting mashup of House of the Rising Sun and Amazing Grace.

My first thought was I don’t have time. I’ve got to work on my business.

But then I thought, this is the universe giving me an answer. And not only an answer, but a hyper-specific one with an urgent timeline. So, instead of self sabotaging myself with the usual excuses, I said I would do it.

I’m nervous in the pit of my stomach because I am terribly out of practice. But I thought maybe this is the little bit of pain I need right now to level up in life. And just maybe if I do this seemingly unrelated thing that my soul seems to want, my business will provide for me when I need it.

To be continued…